Autism, video games and social learning, Part II

Autism, Video Games and Social Learning, Part 2

1. Farrell Cafferata

1/12/2016

Just a quick note about how my son, Dean, who has Autism uses the characters in video games to learn about what it is like to be a different person.  The combinations are endless about what you can wear, the armor that protects you and of course, guns and weapons galore!

Another key component is that you are often required to develop more than 1 character or persona in a game.  Each of these characters has a major set of differences and abilities.  While developing these characters, the gamer must use what weapons or inventory that belongs to that character.  For example, a Mage has magical properties and magical weapons such as spells and potions.  In order to develop potions as a weapon or a heath enhancer, the gamer must learn the recipe that creates the desired outcome.  Often times these are minor quests to pursue the ingredients or other necessary items to create the desired weapon or armor or whatever.  The soldier needs different weapons and the guide or assistant needs other things like stealth or multiple languages or some other necessary component to be successful.

Each Character has a set of parameters that they must stick to.  Often the female character has an advantage that makes her more desirable to play as her.  I have heard a number of squabbles in this group of 12 to 13 year old boys about who is getting to be the girl!

From a social learning standpoint, the ability to take on another’s persona seems pretty important.  When my son Quinn was small, he would become very upset if you suggested he was a girl – enraged is more like it.  Just the thought of being something other than what he is inside was not ok for him.  Dean on the other hand, even with very limited pretending skills that came with his Autism, seemed to be very okay with being someone else for a time.  I recognize that pretend play has a huge impact on brain development and specifically on empathy.  How many times have you been told, “if you could just walk in my shoes for 1 mile…” this idea of empathy is critical in social learning.  Dean has learned that different people bring different skills or abilities to a situation and that even if they are not equal or fair, they are required to complete a mission or an objective.

Not everyone has to participate equally, they just have to participate.  Often I have heard him say that if they only have 4 people – they cannot win – they always need a complete team.  Dean’s teacher’s remarked how great he is at encouraging others to remember the assignment or desired outcome, to help others on his team or in his group when they seems to be going off course.  He does this with kindness and humor.  Everyone likes him and wants him to be in their group.  He is thoughtful and caring about others and how things are going for them.  Do I think he learned that from the game, “Call of Duty”?  Um, no.  But I do think he has learned how it feels when others refuse to help him or revive him when he has been taken out of the action.  He is very attentive to assisting others when they need help.  This may be very self serving – since it restores the whole team to a functional unit and if he wants to win, he knows he needs that.  Or it could be that he knows how yucky it feels when others don’t help you when you need it.

For me – at this point his motivation is less important than the learned behavior of helping others.  Since we know so little about how Autism really affects each individual, this may be as good as it gets for Dean.  He may never be truly empathetic, but he can act in empathetic ways.  In a social environment, that is more important.

I also have a very fond memory of a terrifying moment in Dean’s life.  When he was probably about 3 years old, he had night terrors.  Often the only thing that would bring him out of it was watching Thomas on TV.  I cannot remember all the details, but at one point – very late at night, he came running into my bedroom, crying and begging me to come and help and these animals really need my help.  He was sobbing and he grabbed my arm and began pulling me out of bed.  I jumped up – unable to imagine what was happening.  He pulled me into the TV room and on the TV was a commercial for the SPCA which showed horrible pictures of abused dogs and cats.  He was sobbing and saying over and over that we must help these poor dogs and kitties.  It took me and hour to calm him down and explain that sometimes bad people do bad things and that of course we would do what we could to help these poor animals to be in a better place.  Dean was always very susceptible to these kinds of commercials and I cursed under my breath every time one came on.  He saw the Save the Children commercial too.  That was devastating to him.  So, maybe for him, he already has a good dose of empathetic capacity.

Just the other day I asked if there were Black guys in the cast of characters he was playing with.  He said yes, and showed his version of that character.  He looked pretty fierce.  He showed me his female character – who is pretty cool looking!

I do NOT appreciate the scantily clad female characters in Video games and how their bare midriff or cleavage is “important” to her character development.  I think that is crap!  And if I were designing a video game – I would want my armor to protect ALL of my body regardless of gender.

Good thing/bad thing – you can choose from many combinations of elements for garments, weapons, abilities, etc., but you can only choose from what the game provides or whatever the game designer decides is important for the game.   Are game designers known for their desire to make social change in the interest of equality and better treatment of all people?  No, I don’t think so.

Where do I think game design should go?  The types of beings is endless – with aliens, cyborgs, anthropomorphic figures – all of that.  What would I add in to be timely in a social change kind of way?   I would add in Gay and Bi and Trans characters.  I would add in more races of people, maybe even a little bit more socioeconomic factors.

Where do I think social learning and all of that come together?  When playing as a character for hours and hours, developing their abilities, creating their armor, improving their skills and developing their relationships, how can you NOT feel like you know this person and like them?  How can you not see that they are JUST like you and at the same time – obviously not you.  Where do we learn that all beings are created equal in level one and it’s up to us to develop our character as we see fit.  How many times do we get to start over with a new character, giving us the opportunity to develop different characteristics just to “try it on”?  How often do we end up selecting elements that truly reflect who we are as people and not as the characters we create.  How well does a video game give us the opportunity to “be” someone or something else until we learn the fundamental lesson of that being’s existence?

I know that seems like a heavy load for a video game to bear, but that is where social learning comes in – peer activities, social situations where getting your needs met requires that you speak up and advocate for yourself, that you can be anything you want – you choose as you go and develop your Self in a safe environment, you can change your mind and be something else – without giving up everything you have.  I think it’s a brilliant way for kids with Autism explore a social environment and make mistakes that do not cost them their school environment or other peers or friends.

Dean plays with his classmates and has created friendships from his old school to his new school classmates.  They all play together now and are friends.  Based on where we live and where his friends live – he has created a network of friends across the USA – how many other kids with Autism can claim that? Actually, how many kids can claim that – I guess all the ones that create and develop friendships on line through video games.

Final thought – if I can provide my son an opportunity to meet, and challenge his peers in a social environment and have his needs respected and met – how can I deny him his time on line?  He is such a nice boy as a result!

Language Acqusition

Language acquisition is a very fancy term for taking up language in a way a person can then use that language.  We use language to organize information and concepts, build upon prior knowledge and explain what we want to communicate.

Often I work with kids that are struggling to uptake language for a variety of reasons.  We use many different techniques depending on the nature of the difficulties.  However, the research on using ASL or sign language is extremely clear that teaching, using and communicating through sign language can increase a child’s IQ test result by as much as 8 – 12 points.  That is a significant jump!  Who wouldn’t want that for their child?  Especially if your child has a developmental delay.

That is why I adhere to the Communication at all costs philosophy.  Without language, a child cannot communicate or understand you nor you them.

We can use a picture schedule, words, symbols and signs to create meaning for objects in the environment.  Once the kiddo has learned the name of things – they can then manipulate them as a concept.  For example, if my kid knows that I am Mommy and he is Daddy, he can say, “No, I want Daddy”.  Perfect communication – this can be conveyed through a picture of Daddy, a word on a card – Dad, or the sign for daddy or the spoken word, Dad. These are the building blocks of communication – using discreet units that mean something.

When a kiddo says she has a preference for something, her brain is creating a decision and communicating that decision.  This is an opportunity to develop their brain.  When I work with a family, we work on figuring out how the child will communicate and then we follow their lead – we want to match their communication preference because as adults, we have the ability to change our behavior.  A baby or a small child does not have the resources to match our communication preference.

This is harder than it appears – but we strive to match their needs.  Sometimes, just talking about the issues helps parents to see the challenges faced by their child.

If your child is having a hard time learning to speak – take a few minutes and see if she is communicating through some other way – pointing, grunting, crying or some other way and then try to adapt to her method of communicating and then bridge the gap between your method and hers.

 

If you have questions, please feel free to leave me a comment or questions and I will respond!

Thanks!

When I found out my son had Autism

I was 40 years old when my son Dean was born.  I had always wanted to have kids – like 10 would have suited me fine!  I had waited a very long time – 5 years waiting to adopt – no dice!  Every birth mom that selected us changed her mind and kept the baby.  After that my partner decided that perhaps she wanted to get pregnant.  We were trying while still waiting to adopt. My partner was 45 and in menopause already!  So, we talked to a fertility specialist and went through all the stuff you have to do when you want to get pregnant and you are already in menopause.  It was horrible.  Then the day came and we were ready to go – it snowed but we were ready to drive through anything!  So off we went and he was born! Hooray!  Awesome day – beyond measure – bringing my own son home was the best feeling in the world.

We had the usual babyhood – except he could eat two 8 ounce bottles of formula back to back and grew every time he took a breath!  He was on the average growth chart 1 time in his life – at birth.  After that – he was so far above it they could barely chart it.  We saw an endocrinologist just in case.  He learned words and finally to walk at 16 months.  By then his brother had been born and it was extremely hard to carry him at 45 pounds and a new born! So, he learned to walk!  Then he lost his words – all of them down to Mommy, ball and cup.  He flapped his hands with his mouth wide open.  When he was in a chair, he would flap his feet.  We now know that is self stimulating behavior.  We went to our doctor and he said Dean was just excited and suggested we wait a few months to see if he would regain his words.  Dean was flat and couldn’t hold himself up.  There was no belly time – he couldn’t lift his head off the carpet and he would just cry. We went back and got a referral to our early intervention services.  They scheduled an intake with tests and scheduled a meeting.

When we arrived, Dean took the hand of the therapist and walked through a locked double door – never looking back for me or my partner.  He was overly social and would approach anyone – especially men.  When we went in, we were met by a team of about 5 people who were evaluating him.  They asked if it would be ok if others sat in – turned out that 20 people came in to observe – that was the last time that ever happened at early intervention – why? because of how it changed the whole dynamic of the MDT.  Anyway – MDT – Multidisciplinary Team evaluation is where you start to see if your kid is eligible for services.  Every state is different and has different eligibility requirements and thresholds. Anyway, they asked him to do all these things – many of which I knew he couldn’t do – like drink out of an open cup.  They let him try 3 times – infuriated me since he wore all that juice three times.  Would have been nice to be forewarned that he might get wet . . .  .anyway, they determined that he was a puzzle.  He clearly had autistic behaviors – like the hand flapping and mouth open, flapping hands and shaking with intensity, twirling and hooting.  He definitely had sensory integration issues and loved to hang upside down. So, we qualified – he was delayed in several areas – not just speech.  We also discovered that he had failed his newborn hearing screening so the first thing they did was check his hearing.  Turned out just fine – but we didn’t know that he had failed until he was 18 months old.  Scary if he had been deaf and we didn’t know it.  Actually that happens all the time.  But that is another story!

After we got over the initial idea that people were going to come to our house and help us – we prepared for help.  Looking back now, I don’t think I ever really understood what was happening.  And now that I am in this field and I see families in all stages of acceptance – I can understand why I never understood – there is so much to process at one time and we need to do so many things to make our kid better! When I look back now, I think I would have done some things differently but whatever I did worked out great so I have no complaints!

I did not overwhelm myself with facts or the latest studies about Autism – there was plenty in the media at that time and every kind person I knew was sending me newspaper clippings and magazine references – google didn’t exist like it is today. I didn’t bother reading the books suggested to me – I just tried to do everything the therapists asked me to do.  We started with sign language and it took him about 3 seconds to learn the signs he wanted to use.  We continued to sign until he left the program and our second son who had speech and language delays took it up.  We used sign until Dean started talking. Then he was much more interested in the efficiency of speech and less interested in working on his fine motor skills by signing.

At one point, our developmental specialist asked us about where we thought Dean’s Autism came from.  We had the usual questions about the pregnancy – it was difficult, Artificial Insemination, Gestational Diabetes, meconium in the delivery room – all that.  It left room for questions like  if we had caused the issues – did my partner’s anti depressant cause these issues.  Again, was there something we did to cause the problem?  This was a very popular topic with all the notions that vaccines caused Autism.

After I thought about it for NO TIME, when the question was posed to me – on the spot I said – I don’t really care where it came from – what do we do now?  I never looked back. That’s not to say I didn’t have any feelings about his diagnosis or how many there were or how it is still an everyday activity in my house.  But from that moment on – I have been focused on what we can do to help or support him now and not look for a place to blame or a cause.  That just doesn’t matter.  Dean is now 12 and definitely in puberty.  But that is a story for another day!

If you are interested in discussing your experience with me I am available to help you work through your feelings and experiences from the perspective of someone who has been there already – twice . . . . . and now works in the field with many different types of disabilities and many different families. See my contact page for my contact info.